I was reading the book named as “The Fakir” by the Ruzbeh Bharucha. It is one of the best book I have ever read. While reading, I stuck at one quote from the book, which was about the Trust and Love. I was clean bold by those 4 to 5 statements quote. I felt I have found something very logical. I will mention that quote later in this blog, but not here. Because its a very interesting.
Before going to that quote, I want to ask the question:
What is Love? What is Trust? Are they related? Are they dependant over each other?
I am so sure that most of you are going to say a big YES. I was also thinking the same before. Even if you google, most of the quotes you will find are as below:
But NO. big NO – NO.
Yes its little shocking.
Love and trust are totally opposite things.
Now you will say that I am always trying to do as usual controversial statement. How is it possible to love someone if there is no trust and vice versa.
Just give me one chance to clarify myself, and try to understand the explanation and then decide yourself.
We never think deeply. We easily state that love without trust is not possible or without trust how love is not possible.
But the fact is these are totally different words with different meanings.
What is Pure Love? Pure and real love is always without expectations. Real lover never expect anything from his beloved. Whatever the front person does really doesn’t matter. Real lover keeps loving the person irrespective of the behavior of the front person. As an example from our day to day life, the way mother loves her child. The kid might be very naughty, and even if it is old enough and become gangster, mother always loves her child. that’s why mother’s love is considered as highest pure form of love in most of the species.
What is Trust? Trust itself carries the burden of expectations. how? When you say to a particular person that you trust him that means….that person has fulfilled your expectations till now and because of which you can trust him. because if the same person has constantly failed you or did not meet your expectations how will you trust that person? This clearly says to trust someone he or she needs to fulfil your expectations first.
Now check my most favourite quote I was talking bout in the beginning.
I hope this quote is quite clear. But I will try to explain it in little depth. There might be few questions and I am trying to guess them as I also had after reading this quote.
Why to trust God or master not the other people? Wont they break our trust?
Generally people have these emotions for the god or some Guru like figure.
- Submission and Surrender
If something happens unfortunate or bad in our life, yes we blame sometimes to God and master that why this is happening to me? Why are you punishing me? but the feeling of devotion Never Goes away. We accept the thing like it had meant to be happened in our life for my own good or my past karmas or whatever logical illogical reason.
As an example: If somebody’s partner cheats over him/her then that person is going to be disappointed for sure but he/she won’t blame the god or master that why it happened?
If someone we love passes away we just accept it as our fate or the destiny. When you have the emotions of surrender you accept everything whatever is given. But these emotions of surrender is not possible in between partners or parents and children or friendship. It is most rare.
That’s why trust is only possible when you have the emotion of surrender. Because you are trust never gets break their. You do accept everything irrespective of good or bad.
Because of such trust only many fake Babajis are making their businesses.
So I hope where trust works and where it doesn’t is clear now. But the another question is Why to Love everybody but not to trust anybody?
It means that if you try to love everybody you will forgive them for their mistakes, you will not expect things from them. Because love is without expectations. When you love people, automatically you start feeling compassion, empathy, sympathy and forgiveness.
In this worldly life I will dare to say, the love of parents for their child is kind of true love generally one can experience. Even though the child is not behaving as per the parents still they love him. Whatever he does, they might not like it but still they forgive him and accept him. They always give so many chances to their children to improve themselves. Of course I wont say that it is a purest form of love as there are many hidden motives behind it but we are not considering them as of now.
Trust can be the first step towards the real love. but not always. Because the love for the society, country, less fortunate people and everyone around us doesn’t need trust at the first place. When some one falls from the motor cycle, we run towards him to help him out without thinking whether he is trustworthy or not.
In personal relationships yes trust can be the start, but the result must be the real love. Here trust act as the seed. But the way seed has to manifest itself into the big tree the trust has to manifest into the real love. And when there is a grown tree, seed is not in existence anymore. In the same way when true love emerges the trust factor nullifies.
So how all of this is going to help us in our life?
Most of the mental disturbance and mental problems are because of some one breaks our heart or do not meet the expectations. somebody is not behaving as per my expectation that means the person is breaking my trust. My Expectations is the cause of our most of the problems in daily life. So when you start loving them instead of trusting them you automatically avoid so many issues. Slowly slowly you will start feeling the amazing peaceful life. Yes this is not the simple change but it is the permanent change which will make life permanently way better eventually.
In simple words if you don’t trust anybody there are least chances of your heart breaks.
so never give the remote control of your own happiness calmness and satisfaction into anybody’s hand. always have remote control of your own satisfaction in only and only your hands.
Mayur the Lone Wolf.